The ranking of REAL NESCAC mascots

Image courtesy of Connecticut College.

Student Bates, Bates newspaper recently posted an article ranking NESCAC mascots, and I disagreed so much that I had to post my own (correct) ranking. First of all, it is important to know that the Bates ratings were established according to the image and the quality of the physical suit of the mascot. There shouldn’t be a world where a cow ranks higher than a camel in a pet war. My ranking will be based on logo design, mascot creature, and colors. And to maintain the integrity of these rankings, I’ll leave out NESCAC’s greatest mascot, our beloved Humphrey the Camel.

  1. Williams Ephs “I have so many objections to this one that I don’t even know where to start. Let’s start with the animal, a cow. Seriously? I don’t care if you try to confuse us by calling yourselves “the Ephs” now, it’s still wrong. When you search for “what is an Eph?” the definition of a union permit comes back. Digging further, I learned that “Eph” is the nickname of their founder, Ephraim Williams. Lame. Also, add the fact that their colors are purple and yellow, and their logo is the cow showing its butt, that’s a definite ranking on my part.
  1. Hamilton Continentals – Narrowly avoiding last place, the Continentals are perhaps the least creative mascot ever. Whites are represented enough, they don’t need to be a mascot. Their saving grace is their colors; the blue, beige, and white end up being quite pretty. And the logo is well designed considering their limited hardware.
  1. Trinity Bantams – There is nothing that can make a chicken – excuse me, a dwarf rooster – distressing. For those of you who don’t know, a bantam is a miniature chicken, usually no heavier than 4 pounds. While the blue and yellow colors give off an LA Rams vibe, the design may be more uncomfortable to look at than the Ephs. The Bantam gives off a sulky side-eye, with its wings on its hips (do chickens have hips?) and a tilted, crinkled head. Trinity will try to convince you otherwise with the floor-to-ceiling mural of a bantam in their gym, but there’s no reason to “fear the chicken.”
  1. Colby mules – Mules have the potential to climb. The love child of a horse and a donkey, a mule itself has volume. However, the representation of the logo couldn’t be less intimidating. The logo only shows the mule’s neck and head in side profile. Because of the side view, it looks like it gives you a side eye, and the mouth seems to say the least enthusiastic “yay” in the world. Basically, he looks like a teenager who’s just been told he’s going mule-riding with his family. The white and blue combo is nice and at least I knew what this animal was without the help of Google.
  1. Amherst Mammoths – Although I wouldn’t have chosen an extinct animal that hasn’t been seen in 4,000 years to be my mascot, a mammoth at least looks a bit scary. Unfortunately, you don’t see the tenacity of Amherst’s mammoth because the logo only depicts the silhouette of the beast. There is no creativity in the design of this logo, but purple and white are a nice combination. As the Student Bates pointed out, too, that they don’t have a physical mascot costume either, probably because it’s hard to make a costume out of a silhouette. With a little effort, the Mammoths could be a contender, but definitely not a top 5 right now.
  1. giant clumps – Ok, it’s time for the top 5 now. The Jumbos barely make their way into the top 50%. An elephant mascot could go very wrong, but this logo is done well, giving the elephant big tusks and an intimidating look. However, their colors are blue and brown. Not a light brown, tan-ish – brown poop. I don’t know who thought that was a good idea, but no. Also the name, Jumbos (the vocals are “go bos”), it’s just not a good combo with the brown poo. It conjures up… other images in the mind. But I’m a fan of the logo so number 5 for Tufts.
  1. Bates Wildcats – A classic school mascot that encourages singing in the hallways and while playing basketball, I’m impressed with how Bates designed his logo. It’s pretty simple, paralleling the mammoth silhouette, but putting it inside a ‘B’, they make the mascot their own. I applaud creativity, and red gives it a bit of subconscious intimidation. And honestly, if it’s good enough for Troy Bolton, it’s good enough for me.
  1. Wesleyan Cardinals – A few years ago, the Cardinals wouldn’t have cracked the top 5, but a recent brand change has certainly helped their case. The new cardinal looks like a fighter, and his head looks like a flame. It’s a bit basic to put the Cardinal above a “W”, but I can appreciate the attempt to draw him into the school. Red and black are difficult colors. Overall, the Cardinals have a solid mascot.
  1. Bowdoin Polar Bears – With no known predators, a polar bear is a great mascot. It sends the message that they are on top and fear no opponent. The logo shows this dominance. The polar bear dominates the “B” and seems to stare at the viewer of the logo. Black and white isn’t the most creative color combination, but it works. All in all, a very solid and intimidating mascot, worthy of ranking number 2.
  1. Middlebury Panthers – Top notch logo, top notch animal and top notch colors. All around, I’m a Panthers fan. The logo depicts the Panther in his attacking stance, using white shading to emphasize the muscles. You can see the Panther’s teeth, and it looks like they could tear flesh. The navy blue and white is one of my favorite combos and complements the panther logo really well. Easily the #1 place mascot in my opinion.

However, whichever school is in mind, we can all agree that NESCAC has some of the most unique mascots.

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